If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix it- TV Gripes #2

Adding or subtracting a cast member or two, or a marriage, or changing from Black & white to technicolor are all acceptable, but when some shows change the location, cast or at times, everything… we wonder why it even continued.

I remember “Beverly Hills 90210” (the first one) was a show about twins and their parents. By the end of the show, not one member of that show was still around. It was also about high school kids. By the end, I think the characters were all collecting social security. I don’t remember. And did ER end with anyone it started out with? I’m waiting to see if “Scrubs” goes the same way. It is now a teaching hospital without the main character. It’s about some new characters, a few old ones and some characters we don’t even talk about. Carla anyone?

Who asked Archie Bunker to move to a bar? Did Cheers move to a living room? No. What would that have been like? Would the alcoholism seem just a little bit sadder if they were all on couches?

Who asked Heroes to spend all of its time in a carnival? Did the show “Carnivale” suddenly have people with superpowers saving the planet? Alas, perhaps it would have survived longer. Good show except the preacher with the black eyes creeped me out (True Blood brought the creepy black eye thing back but this time it occurs when people are involved in orgies. It used to be just demonic eyes, now it’s orgy demonic eyes. Blech.)

Remember when Charles In Charge changed their entire family? Does anyone remember it was a brunette family that then was replaced with a blonde one? How would you have felt if one day you had turned on the Brady Bunch and they just happened to replace everyone with Cambodians? Would they all still have worn those groovy striped pants?

Do we remember a whole other cast and title of Ellen’s sitcom? It was about some friends and entitled “These Friends Of Mine.” Then it canned most of them and changed to “Ellen.” By that logic, what if NBC had felt that the first year of “Friends” didn’t work, replaced them all with monkeys (thereby keeping Marcel), called it “Monkeys” and said it was basically the same show too? How did Ellen get away with it?

It took me a while between year one and two of Facts Of Life, getting used to 4 girls instead of about 8, and I was OK when they all lived in one room. I was still there when they worked for Mrs. Garrett at the good ol’ edibles shop, but it was too much when the 80’s took over, they worked in a store that sold what??? replaced Mrs. Garrett with Cloris Leachman, and everyone got fat. That was way too much to adjust to. Imagine Eight Is Enough slashing by 4 kids (or Jon and Kate), moving them all to work over a cigar shop, replace Dick “I have four facial expressions and none of them are cute” Van Patten with his cousin played by Ted McGinley (see above blog to learn my feelings on him or go to: http://www.tvguide.com/keywords/jts-ted-mcginley) and they all struggle with early ‘80’s obesity as well. (In comments below, please indicate which 4 should have been saved).

Add a little southern boy and Dixie Carter to Different Strokes, give Mary Richards a new apartment, kill off Rhoda’s husband, replace the blonde every three years on Charlie’s Angels or Three’s Company, sadly replace the guy from Three’s Company on Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, send the guys from Lost home, and back, and in the past and back, and in a hatch and out… Change the cast of Law And Order regularly- I mean, come on – it’s been 20 years! Lose the redhead from NYPD Blue and replace him with Jimmy Smits, then the little kid from Silver Spoons and then the little kid from Saved By The Bell – heck- put Screech on the Sopranos – or kill off a beloved character named after a woman’s genitalia with an adjective that means it’s been stretched too far. Thanks to history, I am prepared when The Tudors loses a wife every year or so and a show adding a wife, husband or Cousin Oliver is fine. I can deal with gradual changes. Goodbye Paula, hello Ellen. High school kids should eventually graduate, Jim and Pam should have definitely tied the knot, it’s okay that Klinger hung up his dress though I missed Radar very much – but guys the show was so good, I bought that the Korean war lasted long after Bush declared “Mission Accomplished” in 2003.

Tuck, patch, mend, evolve. That’s all fine and dandy. But I barely recognize the 35 year-olds who never went to college in Smallville, Prison Break broke in one season, who the hell was cousin Pam and why did the Cosby Show need her? I didn’t want Dallas or Roseanne to all just be a dream, or for the whole cast of West Wing to step aside so we could see Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda herald a future John McCain and Barak Obama to a T. Did anyone else realize that? An over the hill, too moderate white Republican takes on an ethnic youthful Democrat?? Holy smokes!!!

Overall I leave you with this: Many shows “jump the shark” – i.e. live past their usefulness. A few make very bad choices. But some make really huge divergences from the original premise and people that we tuned in for. They should open with a disclaimer. Something like: “Do not adjust your TV sets. The following show bears virtually no resemblance to the show you fell in love with in the first place. But since you’ll watch crappy sequels just to see it to the bitter end (Hey, I saw Superman IV the Quest For Peace!!), pipe down, sit back and enjoy.”

Need I say: Valerie/Valerie’s Family/The Hogan Family?