My Emmy Review Since Ken Levine Didn't Watch it This Year

I look forward to Ken Levine's reviews almost as much as award shows themselves. As this year he didn't watch, here's me taking a stab at it:

Jane Lynch hosting the Emmys: I wasn’t very excited. I loved her in all those fun movies, I love who she is and love seeing her around town and in my post office. I listen to Glee soundtracks but can’t get into the show itself and I tried. She was actually wonderful.

Opening number – really nice. I never saw “Big Bang Theory” before, and got a taste of it in the opening number/sketch. Still not for me. Sorry, I don’t get why Jim Parsons keeps winning. Is it because all the guys on Modern Family are only supporting actors? Couldn’t people give Steve Carrell a goodbye Emmy? Or are they figuring that with his continuing body of work in such Merchant Ivory films as “Crazy, Stupid Love” and “Get Smart,” he’s bound to win an Oscar, and then, like Kate Winslet, recreate a nice Joan Crawford piece and win an Emmy?

Glad they took on all awkward and possibly controversial issues, such as Jane Lynch being gay, old guy/young wife relationships and Charlie Sheen’s existence.

Loved that it’s only four categories and just when you worry that they’re saving the least interesting for last (Movies and Miniseries), they come back to award the best drama and Modern Family.

Things I could have done without: Charlie Sheen, Gwyneth Paltrow “winging it” by saying nothing, wasting Sofia Vergara by just making accent jokes and Michael Bolton as a pirate.

Aren’t there any non competition reality shows?

Juliana Margoles saying she’s the funniest woman on TV was funny. But then her timing was off and there was an awkward moment.

LOVED Jane Lynch visiting Mad Men, telling them what the future holds, hitting on Peggy and killing their souls by telling them no one watches commercials anymore.

LOVED the leading comedy actresses coming up on stage together. Thought it was just going to be Amy Poehler, loved Melissa McCarthy’s joining her, then it was normal until Edie Falco and Laura Linney, two not “wild and crazy actresses” got up there too. Showing that actresses can be funnier and more interesting than actors, yet award shows rarely agree as they always give actresses their awards and THEN… show the men!

A note on Melissa McCarthy: I took a Groundlings class with her when she first moved to LA. She was really funny, sweet, Jenny MCarthy’s cousin, we sat in her apartment and wrote a sketch together. She met her husband, Ben, at the Groundlings (in our class, I believe). In the movie, “Bridesmaids”, he plays her love interest (the marshall) and the creepy sex scene in the closing credits probably happens in their home. ☺

Loved whazzername’s speech from Justified. Loved her on Dexter and on The Riches. She’ll get another job.

Loved the Dunphys (Dunphies? Dunphum?) winning and their speeches were great.

Loved those people singing to the Memorium, although most of the time we were distracted by trying to figure out who they were since the "Emmytones" were all actors as were the people gyrating on William H. Macy.

Funny that William H. Macy was told he was looking good when he still had his haircut as a drunken, neglectful father.

Steven Levitan's wife's reactions to his revealing their sexual interruptus moments were funny but isn't she used to that by now?

Ken has said that he never sees the Movie and Miniseries nominations. I usually don't either, but this time I saw most of the Kennedys and some of Mildred Pierce. Even a die hard, obsessed Kate Winslet fan had trouble getting through the first episode of MIldred Pierce and that's saying something. That fan was happier drooling over her in her dress last night... We watched "Too Big To Fail" the night before and that was lovely. Like operas and the movie "Wall Street" I understood some of it, but got when people are upset and bad things are happening and when they're happy and good things are happening. I want to see all those British things that won, but aren't they both long running shows on PBS since the 1970's? Who has time?

I'm also trying to get into Game Of Thrones. It'll come.

I can't look directly at Maggie Smith's eyes for too long. Even in Harry Potter flicks.

I'm upset that Sons of Anarchy and Breaking Bad weren't nominated for anything, especially Katie Sagall and Brian Cranston (yes, again), or Breaking Bad's writers, or the Breaking Bad itself.

Nice to see that the Borgias were nominated for being a very pretty show.

Where was Seth MacFarlane? Don't he, Steve Levitan and HBO own television?

All in all, an entertaining night, amazingly brought to us in about three hours, since they have a separate event for makeup, hair and best pixel signal.

Ken Levine, in lieu of your review, I hope I did a good job.

Oh Yeah, I Went To Alaska

So my bruthuh keeps asking me to blog. Welcome to the 21st century. Instead of calling to find out how you are, they email you to blog so they can read how you are. Ah, family.

Forgive me, brother, for I have sinned. It’s been a long time since my last bloggession. And my life is completely different. I meant to blog about and after my trip to Alaska, but I let life get in the way and now must try to remember those little nuggets. Now, if you’re like me, you really don’t want to read about someone’s trips the same way, 20 years ago, you didn’t want to look at slide shows, or see photos. Well, some of you did. And you’re better than me. I would often count to 5 for every photo of trees and such in someone’s album, make a positive humming sound and then flip the page. And don’t get me started on the one time my friend did mushrooms and took over 100 photos of a blade of grass. I couldn’t wait to see if she thought it was just as fascinating the next day.

But I digress.

A Cruise to Alaska - the high points. Things you will find interesting, insightful or funny.

I had never been to Alaska before. I had never been to a cruise before. Someone said, “You eat yourself stupid.” So true. Which is probably why I did not blog afterwards. I was trying to rejuvenate my brain cells. Did I mention there was a 24 hour buffet?

Also, I had not eaten chocolate in a year as an experiment.

That went out the door.

Or overboard.

Four words: Midnight Free Chocolate Bar.

Not one bar, but a bar, like a buffet. In the disco (yes, disco) where some strange Asian band sang 1950’s tunes, then stopped, and went to the 60’s, then the 70’s… It was great aging so fast. AGAIN!

John Severson, a man who I told, is all about making people feel like royalty, put the love of my life and I at his table, treated us to a shmancy French dinner, and basically made all our dreams come true. (Well, I’m still waiting on the Disney Fellowship and a pony…)

We kayaked. Yes, me. Then we took a helicopter and walked on a glacier. Someone said you eat yourself stupid… no, no. Someone said it’s like walking on the moon. True. Especially if you can cup your hand and drink moon juice. (That’s Glacier water for my slower readers.)

We dogsledded. ONLY AFTER making sure that no dogs were harmed in the making of our sled ride and we were assured that they liked it. One liked it so much, he wouldn’t stop jumping back and forth over the ropes. We didn't get to travel in snow, but that’s ok. We went to DOG SLED SUMMER CAMP!! Where there were rows of dog homes, like little condos. Very odd. And… we held DOG SLED PUPPIES!!!!

I’ll pause and let you all have a moment with that.

In Canada we had nothing planned then considered a pedicab tour of Victoria. ONLY AFTER making sure that no cyclists were harmed in the making of our pedicab ride and we were assured that they liked it. Our cyclist was Simon. He was young and not Canadian. We loved him. He let us go to a garden and play with peacocks. We in turn watered him and ate his trail mix. No, we couldn’t hold a pedicab cyclist puppy.

Beyond that were sunsets, more food, shows and most importantly a Landmark Education vacation course: Transforming Yesterday’s Strategies II: Long Term Relationships. I met people from all around the world and learned a lot about relationships of all kinds. Best nugget I can give y’all: In relationships, when you fight, you often are wanting them to act, think or do things like you do. And they don’t. And you don’t want to date your clone. So celebrate the difference. Viva.

That’s all you get.

In less than three weeks, the amazing John Severson has arranged for me to assist him in Transforming Yesterday’s Strategies I in Greece. I’m working off my flight and going to hear Europeans talk of how they were raised. I like John’s vacations, as they are more luxurious than I’d ever plan, and the courses are amazing for self-growth. Not to mention the incredible people there.

Hope you got your money’s worth from my little verbal slide show.

Hope my bruthuh’s happy and will now come visit and fix my computer.