Hawaii One-Oh. (Part 1- an Overview)

As some of you may know, the purpose of my trip to Hawaii was two-fold. First, was the experience of allowing myself a luxury vacation. In the past I have done courses or volunteered to get away, and about ten years ago I slung a backpack on my back and scoured Europe on my own, staying in hostels and doing it cheaply. So it was a big thing to plunk down money, not - as I thought - because I’m cheap, but because I’m cheap towards pampering myself. But I ignored any “you’re not worth it” old voices in my head and threw down the checkbook. And, as the universe often does, I made and received the money back. But that’s for another blog. Suffice it to say, thanks to “A Cruise World’s John Severson,” I, with the part-time job and beat up car, stayed in a Hawaiian resort, had clambakes by the beach, swam with Manta Rays and dolphins, ziplined and had a spa massage. And kept repeating “I deserve it” over and over. And when I came home to the day of my birth, continued this practice in a weekend devoted to my wants and requests - thanks to all who made that possible. I love you. And if, as I was told, the way you celebrate your birthday sets the tone for your year- this one will be about me treating myself very well.

The second part of the Hawaiian trip was that it was a vacation course. The course was by Landmark education, entitled: “Transforming Yesterday’s Strategies.” In this course, 32 of us convened each day for a couple of hours and discussed gender, our formulative years, stories we made up to cope as young people, what it means to be a man, or a woman, the strategies and stereotypes we put in place and to shares stories of growing up, puberty, etc. Not only was this amazing to free me from certain constraints and stories, not only did this bond our group immensely, not only did I gain more insight into how hard it is for men and for women in this world, but perhaps, I can now begin this new year of teaching boys and girls (separately) in 6th grade- right in the thick of all of this confusion, and although I might not discuss the details, I have more compassion and understanding, love and support for them exactly where they are and offer more acceptance and stability to them during this hard phase. It will also help my sanity when the girls roll their eyes all the time and the boys beat each other with vocabulary books – to know they are just being human.

What jewel can I give my readers from my trip? One of the biggest things I learned was to stop for a moment, when communicating with others, and not think of them as man, woman, etc. But what if I just granted everyone being and listened to them as “person”? Perhaps I wouldn’t put them in boxes, bring in my stereotypes, pull my old strategies with dealing with men and women, and miracles will appear. Try it out. It’s my gift to you.

I got so much out of the whole trip – I can’t imagine a better way to do a vacation - and look forward to next year’s Transforming Yesterday’s Strategy II luxury vacation - an Alaskan Cruise-where we discuss all types of long term relationships.

Thank you for reading, persons.

Beverly.